I had some moments collide this week, in a way only the Spirit can direct them to, and I’m feeling called to share. About a week before the anniversary of Matt’s death, some friends from church asked what they could do to help ease this time for me. I initially declined the offer to be part of a meal train since I felt it was too much of a burden on those delivering meals in light of my situation. After some prompting I agreed, but I still felt some guilt over the service.
So last week a wonderful woman, I feel honored to call a friend, brought over tacos. Since it takes the three of us a good amount of time to eat all the food brought over; we had our last round of Mexican last night. As I was bringing out all the containers of toppings thinking of what a blessing the meal was upon my week. I noticed the container that was holding the chopped tomatoes. It was a container that once carried gummy worms from a local grocery store. I thought for a moment and then become just a bit teary.
It was about six months ago that I was feeling completely swamped down with life in the midst of grief, when I was asked by a friend to be part of a meal train for a couple at church. At the time the couple was still in the beginning stages of grief and hadn’t shared their story with others yet, so they requested to not have their name shared. They simply requested we bring them sweets.
There I was that day at the grocery store. I was running late to pick up Evie and feeling rushed. The store was filled with people and the lines were long. I picked up a basket, instead of choosing a cart, and my arm was loaded down and becoming sore. I was on the phone, although I can not remember with who, I do remember the conversation being stressful. All at once I felt annoyed by serving someone I didn’t know, at a time in life that wasn’t easy on me, in the midst of a troublesome day. I pulled myself together that day; I found my heart for serving, and followed through. I was glad I did. I was even more grateful when I later learned who I was serving and why.
So here I was, feeling grateful and guilty, because of those who had made the decision to take time out of their busy lives to serve my family when I caught a glimpse at the Spirit’s work. In a fleeting moment of clarity I saw into the Spirit-lead, circle-of-favor we get to take part of on this Earth. I had felt led by the Spirit to serve this couple friend, and despite myself, I did so. And here I was witnessing the very source of where my service for them began, their service for me was handed back.
It was a small reminder of the huge impact the Spirit can have in our lives if we so allow Him to. I am so grateful to be part of a community that respects and honors that impact the best we know how. My encouragement for you is to follow the promptings of your heart. Do not doubt. Do not quit when your own shortcomings try to hold you back from that calling. And when offered service? Take it with grace and humility.
I loved this Steph! Before losing TJ I did quite a bit of community service and I am even more drawn to it now. Before I did not understand the impact it has on people and now I do. The ability to help others is truly a blessing.
Absolutely, you’re heart definitely grows when you go through something like we have. Life just looks different somehow, doesn’t it? Always keeping you in my thoughts 🙂