Author Archives: Stephanie Danielson

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About Stephanie Danielson

I began this blog about one year after losing my husband unexpectedly at the age of 31 to pneumonia. You can read about my processing through the grief and the faith struggles that I dealt with during that time at my previous blog, "The Young Widow's Rant." I started Striving After the Wind during a time when I wasn't sure who God was or who I was. As the writer of Ecclesiastics declares ... "Everything is meaningless, meaningless. It is all a striving after the wind." From that point I entered into seminary. The Spirit transformed that fear of meaningless into a love that found meaning in every good and beautiful thing. I began to discover a God whose very nature and being is love. A God who wants us to have true hope in the promise that love does conquer all fear--a love that has conquered all fear. My aim in writing today is to share such a hope with those who read my blog. Hope is the required first step to allow the love of the cross to the world. Through Christ we have been given a love so powerful as to fulfill the prayer of Jesus--Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Religion is not a four letter word.

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I’m not too familiar with Jeff Bethke.  And if you somehow have been living under a rock and missed his spoken word piece, which has gone viral this week, you can see it here.  My hope in writing is not to tear down a Christian brother.  My heart is telling me that Jeff loves Christ, that he longs to be Christlike, and that he is very talented (which may be part of the reason people listen past what he is really saying).

The definition of religion has changed over the past years, this I understand.  There are people who see the religious structure as a legalistic hypocrisy.  There are people who call themselves Christian, possible attend church on Sunday, and yet don’t live as Christians at all.  And so a shift begins.  People who are religious sever ties with the term and cling to the core of what makes the structure beautiful.  This isn’t the answer to our problems though.

If it wasn’t for ‘religion’ I wouldn’t be blessed with a new pastor who has come to a broken church family and lovingly said to us, “We will mend this together”.  If it wasn’t for ‘religion’ I wouldn’t be blessed with elders who guide and lead me in a gentle and loving manner so that I do not stumble in my walk.  If it wasn’t for ‘religion’ I wouldn’t be blessed with a denomination, who in the wake of my young husband’s death, came around me to help with the physical, spiritual, and financial needs of my family.  I wouldn’t have a small group of women who I consider sisters.  I wouldn’t have a place to worship our God, who I love so much.

Let us not so quickly forget that Jesus was religious; a very devout Jew.  And so, I too, am religious.  I would like to say I’m not a hypocrite and that I’m a Christian the other six days of the week, but as Paul says in Romans, “For I don’t do the good I want to do, but instead do the evil that I don’t want to do.”  I do the best I can, but it is far from perfect.  This doesn’t mean I’m ready to throw the baby out with the bath water.

My fear is that we are trying to have an internal conversation with the whole world.  It is not that what Jeff, and others, have been saying for some time doesn’t have relevance in a changing world.  I understand people have been hurt by the structure we have built, and for those who have been I am sorry.  Do we take that pain and turn people away from the church though?  I think the answer is to build communities that don’t hurt.  Communities that when hurt does happen grace and forgiveness is worked through together.  These communities do exsist, I am part of one.

We can not undermine the importance of our communities, and I don’t believe that is what Christ wants for us.  We must tread lightly when we label people, and it doesn’t matter the label that you use … religious/legalistic, orthodox/heretic, conservative/liberal, Republican/Democrat, Catholic/Evangelical . . . Jew/Greek, slave/free, male/female.

You see, because we are all one in Christ Jesus.  And a label is ALWAYS a label, no matter how trendy it might be.

I Smell Good To God

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I love the feeling of coming across a Bible verse that you never knew was there, but sure enough it was there all along. This happened to me in church today. We are in the midst of a sermon series titled A New Creation. This week we discussed the idea of the new covenant, and referenced 2 Corinthians 2. Here is the verse that caught my attention:

2 Corinthians 2:15 For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.

Often we underscore the sense of smell. If we had to give up one of our senses, with the alternatives of being blind or deaf, most of us would probably choose scent. But here is Paul, describing the body of Christ, as a sweet scent to God. How amazing.

And although we often undermine our gift of scent there is nothing else like it. Imagine you are at home and your children are away at the grandparents. Although the quiet is a beautiful thing, and it’s the first time you’ve gotten anything done in weeks, you still ache a little in your separation. You are doing laundry and as you go to throw your little one’s blankie in the washer it grabs you. That scent. You know the one … baby soft skin, sour milk, and Johnson and Johnson’s tear free baby wash. At that moment it takes all one has to contain themselves.

It has happened with my late husband, Matt, too. I remember clearly in the weeks after his death when I was acutely aware that his scent was leaving every last item I had of his. It was painful, but what was more emotional than that was coming across a box months later of his things. Opening the box, that I had packed, assuming it was nothing more than clothes now. Opening that box of t-shirts and for just a moment he was there. He was making me laugh; making Evelyn laugh. I grabbed at the shirts fruitlessly trying to identify the exact place the smell was coming from. Before I knew it the smell was gone. As if opening the box had just allowed the aroma to drift out and away.

We can be those emotionally charged scents to God. When we live our lives according to the Holy Spirit’s leading we send that drifting sweet smell straight up to God. And it says, we smell to God like Christ. We smell like his child.

This idea has me blown away today. I wish to smell good to God. I wish to smell of Christ (Which makes me wonder just how did Jesus smell?). The idea further discussed in the sermon was how, in the new covenant, we find freedom. Freedom, in this case, to smell the way you want. By listening to the Holy Spirit and being reminded to repent when told, to go when told, and to wait when told we have an opportunity to bring an unending sort of joy to God that only the ability of sweet scents, filled with memories and love, have the capability to do.

Yes, I want to smell good to God indeed.

Let’s Start A Revolution!

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A new sermon series to start a new year! It is time for a revolution. Time to leave our old – and often quickly forgotten – resolutions behind. It is time to begin a revolution in our marriages, with our children, in regards to our health, and most importantly a new revolution within the body of Christ; the church.

The sermon today centered around the story of Zaccheaus, the tax collector (Luke 19:1-9). Zaccheaus is a living example of what a revolution means in regards to our faith. His encounter with Christ radically and dramatically changed every aspect of his life. And it didn’t change it starting at the beginning of the year, or at the beginning of the week, or even the next morning — Zaccheaus was changed immediately. His repentance was a complete turning and moving away from his sin. This salvation story shows us just how amazing a Christ encounter looks like in the lives of people. This Christ encounter is available to anyone, anytime, and in many ways. Often, though, the encounter needs a catalyst. And as the body of Christ we are called to be that catalyst. To shine the light of our own Christ encounter, and help others find a way to theirs.

So how do begin a revolution? We set goals – personal goals, marital goals, goals as a church. We find out where we are going. Be intentional and thoughtful about your destination; don’t leave the outcome vague or undefined. Zaccheaus knew where he was going; he was going to see Jesus. Know what objectives you will need to overcome to get there. Find a plan of action to overcome the objectives and reach your goal. And then, of course, put it into action.

A new year means a new start. Things feel fresh, as if those barriers of fear and doubt have momentarily relaxed to give us a glimpse to the other side. Take advantage of the fire that burns when the year turns new. Set goals for yourself, and for your family. And most importantly set goals for furthering the Kingdom of Christ. As Christians, we don’t live apart from suffering, but we certianly live along side peace, knowing grace, and covered in love. It is time to share that peace, that grace, that love with those around us. It is time for a revolution.

I am just getting started

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As I struggle to finish what I started with Pete Rollin’s latest book, for a couple of reasons that have surfaced upon re-reading it, I’m going to jump for a moment to Rob Bell’s farewell letter to Mars Hill. Rob read this letter to the congregation this past Sunday; it was his last sermon at Mars Hill.

I have no critique of what he said, at least none that will be placed on this page. Just some thoughts, some encouragements. I was surprised at how emotional it was for me listening to Rob’s final sermon at Mars Hill. Far more emotional than it has been for me saying goodbye to pastors elsewhere in my life. Far more emotional than I expected. It reminded me of what an impact Rob has had on my life and my learning of Christ. That sense of loss made me sad for what may to come without my standard Rob Bell teaching; which is usually awaiting me by midday Tuesdays.

Rob said something though, at the end of the letter. He said that he felt like he was just getting started. I can’t imagine Rob would have any idea what those words could possibly mean to a young widow who has, since her husband’s death, felt a call towards ministry – started school – began making radical life changes. Or maybe he can.

He gave me courage, not only in this sermon, but in so many sermons I have heard him speak, that God has given us the innate desire to create. I have always felt this desire. He has assured me that to follow this need to create risks must sometimes be taken. I am just starting to take those risks. Those risks can be scary – for me, as well as for him, and others. It is far often easier to tell ourselves that this is the end of what God has planned for us. To think that we are too old to put ourselves out there, or too secure to take such risks. Those are the fears we must put aside.

I, like Rob, feel like I’m just getting started. My life has changed drastically. I will move drastically. I will hear the call of God, and listen it to it. I will try to be courageous. I will lean on Christ when I feel weak, and remember what God has promised to us if we follow this call . . . Grace and Peace.

I pray grace and peace to Rob as well. And I am ever so grateful for his contribution to my spirit journey.

Insurrection Reflection (Chapter 3)

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Chapter 3 is titled, “I’m Not Religious” and Other Religious Sayings. I have some issues with the theological line of thinking in this chapter, and so I can imagine that feeling might be tenfold for other, more conservative, Christians. I tread lightly over the words, reading the chapter a few times before making any final reflections, and then I apply it to how it pragmatically looks in my own life.

Here are my thoughts on the first half of the chapter. One of Pete’s major challenges within the church structure is how we do worship. How, as he puts it in the book, “The worship songs affirm certainty so we are free to celebrate uncertainty.” (pg. 48). I believe deeply that worship can be anything that is done to the glory of God, up to and including doubt. A person needs go no further than the book of Lamentations to find a dark night of the soul. We can not forget, though, why it is we worship. We worship to a God who longs to be worshiped by his creation.

I do, however, affirm Pete on many thoughts in regards to worship, such as; where do we find the ‘leader’ in ‘worship-leader’ if the only songs we are ever led to sing are about knowing, peace, and love. As a creation of God there are times I do not know, I do not feel peace, and love is not the first thing on my heart. It is in those moments of unknowing that I cry out to God, and I can see how this crying out in community could be a healing movement. I also believe, however, that God needs to see our faithfulness. I do not worship for my sake, I worship for His sake.

I need to worship my Creator. I will doubt my Creator. I need to do both of these things.

The second half of the chapter involves the differences between the recognition of levels of non/belief in today’s society, and the psychologically seeded security within each of those differences. The idea being that within our culture, even those who consider themselves atheists, still rely on God ultimately as a means to bring them comfort. In most cases, people would deny this idea. People desire to believe they serve a God for the purpose of glorifying Him, but the only true way to unpack our reasoning behind our beliefs is to look towards how we practically live our day to day life … which is where this Insurrection is going.