A kind, Christian friend came to me last night with a gentle reminder, and I am so touched by her candor and honesty. After our conversation, I felt that I needed to further my post from yesterday with a few other thoughts.
First, I do not consider myself a victim of childhood abuse. I do not intend for my readers to do so either. Being exposed to sexual images at a young age in which we are not capable of understanding, does not equate with being physically assaulted at a young age. My love and prayers to all of those people, abused as children – those still being abused, is over whelming. In no way did I intend to minimize the pain and suffering of those healing from such a tragic event. If I have hurt anyone, I am sorry.
Second, I want to be clear that I believe we all make our own choices. Part of the reason these posts are so extremely difficult for me is because these horrific things were due to my own choices. I did these ugly, shameful acts. And I did them because of my own fallen nature. It was Christ alone who had the power to remove these things … remove them as far as the east is from the west. And I praise Him everyday for that grace He so freely gives.
Third, I am going somewhere with these posts (lol). There is no excuse for my bad choices, and please know it is not an excuse I am in search of. It has been through a ton of prayerful consideration that I have begun writing these posts, but I believe some groundwork needs to be laid out in order to get where I am going.
My heart is to help others find the freedom I have found in Christ. Because there is freedom to be found! Freedom from the lies we whisper to ourselves at night. Freedom from the shame and guilt we never let out. Freedom from the pain and suffering we have endured, even if that pain was self inflicted. Christ is offering freedom, and this freedom is indescribable.
I love my readers. I’m not sure I have said that recently (and I don’t say it enough). I also love my friends, those with the heart to follow the words of Jesus in Matthew 18 and come to me with anything they feel led to. I encourage others to do the same. This road is bound to have bumps, and I will not always get it right. I do know that God has had this topic on my heart for months. I have prayed about each word, and struggled with each keystroke. Stick with me; I truly believe God has plans for me [within these posts], plans to give hope – not just hope for me, but for those who are reading.